


Blood may be thicker than water but love is thicker than anything

by Mimisempai



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Blood Drinking, Bottom Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., First Time, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mike and Nick are amazing friends, Rafael Vampire, Top Rafael Barba, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:06:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26973379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimisempai/pseuds/Mimisempai
Summary: There is something different about Rafael. He eats less, looks sick and does everything he can to avoid crowds.Sonny, Mike and Dodds have noticed it.Pushed by these two, Sonny will try to find out more, not knowing that the truth could change everything for him.
Relationships: Nick Amaro/Mike Dodds, Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 25
Kudos: 43
Collections: Barisi Creatures Bingo





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Although I love reading fanfictions about vampires, I have no idea if I'm capable of writing one myself, but I'm taking the plunge, I hope you'll like it.

"I'm telling you, Barba doesn't look good. Look, he's not even eating. Oh and he hasn't even been drinkin g scotch! If that's not proof there's something wrong!" 

Sonny looked up from his plate and looked over to where Barba was sitting. He frowned. Mike was right, Barba didn't look good. He looked pale. There was something different about him.

Nick tried to explain, "Maybe he's having a hard time getting back to normal. He was forced to live under surveillance for several months, in a hotel, until Heredio and his accomplices could be arrested. Not to mention the two assassination attempts from which he was barely saved. Don't forget he ended up in the hospital after the last one, the bullet nearly missed an artery. That was just 10 days ago. That would leave a lasting trace on anyone. I'm surprised he's even back so early." 

Sonny grimaced with sympathy. "Maybe he doesn't know what to do with himself," he finally said. He didn't want to look at Barba too closely. Ever since that whole case, there was a kind of tense atmosphere between the two of them. Things were awkward because neither of them knew how to behave with the other after Sonny threw himself at Barba to save him from getting shot during the first assassination attempt. Barba didn't make too many nasty remarks at him anymore, at least not like before and Sonny didn't know what to do with that.

Sonny had often visited Barba to help him with his cases or to prepare for the bar exam, as the lawyer seemed to tolerate his presence. Sonny had hoped that they could eventually get to know each other. It may have been wishful thinking, but sometimes a little hope couldn't hurt.

"I don't think that's it. He doesn't even eat and that's not normal. Even when things were at their most stressful, Barba still ate..." Sonny could only nod inwardly at Mike's remark. There wasn't a meeting, there wasn't a work session where Barba wasn't eating something. Sonny even found this little quirk endearing, and seeing Barba go off on his big theories while chewing his pretzels was really fun.

Sonny continued to eat while contemplating Barba for a while. The ADA was sitting with his head tilted over the table, concentrating on his plate. And instead of being engaged in a voluble discussion with Olivia as they used to in their evenings at Forlini, Barba had his lips pressed in a thin line as if he was in great pain. He seemed completely lost, sitting in the middle of them.

What bothered Barba so much? Sonny wasn't about to find out when Barba suddenly pushed his chair back and stood up. He whispered something to Olivia, who nodded, took his coat, went to pay and left without saying goodbye. Sonny wasn't the only one whose gaze followed Barba's silhouette, for when Sonny turned his head, his eyes caught Olivia's.

She nodded and smiled a tight smile, to which Sonny responded in the same way. What was going on?

___

One week later, same place

"He's still not eating." Sonny barely looked up. They had just finished a difficult case and all he wanted to do was sit down and eat in peace.

He uttered a slight grunt of acknowledgement. He couldn't afford to spend another dinner staring at Barba. He'd done it too much the last time they'd met.

He knew it was madness to think that Barba could read his mind. But the fear was still there, because his sisters had always told him, you could read him like an open book. And he couldn't reveal his biggest secret, not to Barba or anyone else. Hell, even Mike and Nick didn't know.

It wasn't a life-threatening secret, but it was a secret that he wasn't comfortable with many people knowing. Sonny was completely madly in love with Rafael Barba, or something like that. He knew he barely had a chance, and he had no intention of telling Barba. Maybe he would when he had more courage. He knew that the moment his secret was revealed, his dreams would be shattered, and he wasn't ready for that yet. He needed time to prepare for and protect himself from the grief that would come. 

"Hey, Sonny, are you listening to me?" He took one look at Mike, but it was Nick who leaned over and said, "He's not well, Sonny. Even yesterday during the debriefing he was elsewhere. This is not normal. Maybe he hasn't recovered as well as everyone thinks he has."

Sonny rolled his eyes. "Nick, he threw a 'Booyah Fordham law' at me again not two days ago. I don't think he's too bad..."

"But that doesn't explain why he's not eating and behaving strangely." Nick frowned.

Mike smiled and said. "Maybe we should investigate. Liv said that the next week was going to be relatively quiet, apart from the usual cases. So what do you say?"

Nick began to smile too. "I guess it won't hurt to see if there's a way to help Barba. I'm sure we can figure out what's wrong with him." Although Sonny was happy for Nick and Mike's relationship, the combination of the two was detrimental to his peace of mind.

As Sonny finally took a look at Barba, he noticed that the lawyer was looking at him, and the hunger he had time to read in that look made him shudder. No, impossible that Barba looked at Sonny this way. When Barba rose abruptly from his seat, Sonny had made up his mind as he watched him leave. He was going to find out what was going on with Barba, even if it would kill him.   
  
____

A few days later, Rafael Barba's office

"Carisi, is there a reason why you're still here?" Despite the fact that Mike and Nick were convinced that there was something strange going on with Barba, the lawyer's voice was still sharp when it came to Sonny.

Sonny blushed uncomfortably as he looked at him. Barba had his arms folded over his chest and his green eyes looked at Sonny as he gathered his things. He opened his mouth to say something, but he pulled himself together. He didn't want to receive any more snarky remarks.

He said, "No." He shook his head and looked up again. Barba's eyes were narrowed in contemplation, but the thin lips twisted into that familiar lopsided smile before Barba leaned over so that Sonny could feel the man's warm breath brush his face.

"So I suggest you hurry, unless you want to be late for the meeting with Liv. I know for a fact that she doesn't like latecomers, you wouldn't want to be the target for her wrath, would you, Carisi?"

Shivering all over the place, Sonny shook his head. He quickly finished. There was something irresistible in Barba's eyes that attracted him and he leaned closer. Barba's nostrils flared as Sonny approached, unable to resist the attraction and the irresistible urge to kiss him that had overtaken him.

"No, Carisi, you really don't want to do that. I won't be able to control myself if you come any closer..." Barba's voice was a soft whisper.

Sonny wasn't sure what was going on, but Barba frowned before he exhaled hard and walked away from Sonny.

"You should leave now." It was a subtle warning and Sonny heeded it. His eyes widened before he grabbed his bag and practically ran away from the office, the door slamming behind him. Panting, he collapsed against the hallway wall.

He wasn't sure what had just happened, but it was important. Had he really almost tried to kiss Barba? Why would he do such a thing? Well, he knew why, but why had he been about to give in to his desires in this way?

It was as if he had lost all control once he looked Barba in the eye. All reason had left him and, looking back now, Sonny realized that he had wanted to please Barba. He was shivering, the man had never made him feel like that, or at least never that much. Something in Barba had always seemed to please Sonny and Barba had always seemed to be in control, but at that moment, underneath that calm appearance, something dangerous and not quite in control seemed to be hidden beneath the surface.

Sonny got up and because he had to keep a cool head to work, he vowed to forget about it for now. 

____

  
  


"Carisi, will you please stay." Sonny moans inside. He was sure the lieutenant was going to ask him why he was late and sermon him. He waited until everyone else had left his office.

"I'm sorry I was late, Lieu, I...I was just held back by Barba... I was a little distracted..." Sonny curses himself for being unable to articulate a clear sentence, unlike some of his colleagues, he was unable to lie, especially not to Olivia.

"Were you alone with Barba, Carisi?" The alarm in Olivia's voice made him look up. 

"Yes, that's often the case, lately I often ask him for help with my exams and in return I give him a hand with his cases."

"And  he hasn't been acting strangely ?".

"No more than usual. Why do you ask that?" It was out of the question for him to tell Olivia what had just happened.

"Carisi, if I asked you not to be alone with Barba at the moment, would you take this advice?"

"I suppose I would. But if I may ask, what is it all about?"

"It's not for me to say, Sonny, all I can tell you is to be careful of Rafael. Right now he's not himself and he doesn't have the control that he normally has. I'm saying this for your own good, okay?"

"Okay, but..." 

"Just be careful with Rafael, Carisi, for now."

"I will, I promise..."

But that doesn't mean I'll stay away. And as Sonny crossed his fingers behind his back, he left Olivia's office. He had some things to discuss with Mike and Nick.

Later, the three of them were sitting for a drink at Forlini's.

"This doesn't make any sense."

"If it did make sense, do you really think I would have asked you to come over here and discuss it with you?" 

"Yes, I suppose so. Now, what do we know about Barba?"

"He's acting strange. He doesn't eat. He looks worse than when he was under surveillance. Liv actually warned Sonny to stay away from him." Nick listed the reasons in a factual manner.

Sonny rubbed his forehead. If he was told these facts about anyone, he would not think twice about it, despite what Sonny had almost done when he had been alone with the ADA.

Sonny added, "And don't forget that Barba recovered extremely quickly from the last attempt, Liv was amazed that he came back so soon after beeing shot, and even the week after, I worked with him every night and he even seemed in a better mood than before the events."

"You never told me about that." Nick frowned and Sonny shrugged.

Mike gave him a strange look, "Every night?"

Sonny felt himself blushing. Why was Mike being perceptive when Sonny wished he wouldn't? 

He focused on his glass and did not see the look that Mike and Nick exchanged, nor did he react when Nick left the table to go to the bathroom. 

Mike leaned over and said gently, putting his hand on Sonny's forearm. 

"You know you can talk to me, don't you?"

Sonny simply nodded, refusing to meet the brown eyes. 

"When you kept visiting Barba, I was happy for you, that you had someone to help you with your law school, but it wasn't just about that, was it?" When Sonny shook his head silently, Mike nodded and continued, "The way you talked about him the day after your work sessions seemed a little strange to me. Nick and I discussed it and we came to the conclusion that you were acting like you were in love... so Sonny, answer me honestly, I won't judge you, I promise. Are you in love with him?"

So it seemed that he hadn't been able to hide it as well as he thought. Sonny didn't know what he could or wanted to say. Mike seemed to understand and gently said, "Because you know, if you are, that's fine. I'm not sure he deserves you, but you can't choose who you fall in love with, can you? Look at me and Nick, who would have predicted it? So I guess it's okay then if you love him. Maybe we can convince him to love you too. That's another reason why we need to find out what's wrong with him, so he can fall into your arms and kiss you gratefully."

Sonny laughed, "Mike, I stopped him from getting shot and he still hasn't fallen into my arms and still hasn't kissed me."

"Yeah, but that's Barba, the master of control."

"Not wrong."

"So we'll have to make sure he wants to kiss you."

Sonny moaned, for some reason he suspected that things were only getting worse, and that Barba wasn't the only danger to Sonny.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

"Mike honestly, you didn't need to go that far. We're not in middle school here! This is my life we're talking about!" 

Sonny grumbled as he looked at Mike from across the table. To be honest, it wasn't only Mike's fault, it was Nick's too. They had decided that the quickest way for them to find out what was wrong with Barba, and for Sonny to be noticed by the ADA, was to ask Sonny's opinion on every point of law when Barba was there and that afternoon had been a free-for-all, with Nick and Mike taking advantage of Olivia not being there. The result had been Barba saying at the end of the meeting, " _ If you really want to share your knowledge of the law with me Carisi, you can come and help me sort through all these "habeas corpus" papers tonight, I promise you that in the end you'll be really good at it _ "

"But this is the chance we've been waiting for... You will be alone with Barba and you will find out what's going on with him." Nick smiled tentatively at him.

"Or jump on him." Mike added.

"It's not the damn luck we've been waiting for! I made a fool of myself in front of him and I'm going to end up alone with him while Olivia told me not to be. Have you even thought about what this could mean to me?"

Sonny grunted again as he quickly ate his dinner. Barba was waiting for him right after dinner and he had been late because he had to change and meet up with Mike and Nick to scold them.

He emptied his beer, stared at his friends and said dryly, "If I end up dead or seriously injured, I'll haunt you for the rest of eternity. Be warned."

"If you're not back for debriefing tomorrow morning, I'm coming to get you."

"Oh, thank you so much. Really." 

Sonny sighed. He didn't know what to expect and part of him was filled with dread as he thought back to the last time they had been alone together. Why was he nervous about spending time alone with Barba? After all they had worked together so often, it would be the same. He shouldn't let Olivia's words get to him like that. Perhaps she was right to some extent, but Sonny was sure he was able protect himself. He really shouldn't be nervous, nothing would happen. Sonny continued to talk quietly to himself, trying to convince him that everything would be fine and normal during this work session. 

He stopped in front of Barba's office door. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door and waited for the voice to tell him to come in. This came immediately and Sonny pushed the door open.

Sonny glanced out into the darkness. The sun hadn't set yet, but the curtains and blinds were drawn. The man himself was not in sight, but Sonny had the feeling he was being watched.

He jumped almost a meter into the air when Barba's voice suddenly came from behind him.

"Come take a seat, Carisi."

Looking behind him, Sonny's eyes widened as he noticed Barba standing in the window frame. He hadn't seen him when he entered the office. Sonny went to sit in the chair that Barba was showing him.

Barba moved behind him, silent, before going around the desk and pulling the chair out and sitting down. He did not look well, not well at all. He was even paler since the last time Sonny has seen him, his features drawn, and his gaze as if feverish.

"What's wrong? You look terrible." It wasn't something that Sonny had wanted to let slip out, but he couldn't help himself. He blushed, but kept staring, refusing to back down.

Barba smiled bitterly, "That's what it's like when you can't feed yourself properly on a regular basis."

"But...I don't understand, you always have plenty of snacks and regular meals, at least as far as I know."

"Carisi, I'm not talking about normal food".

"Wait a minute. I know I'm going to sound even dumber, but what does that mean? I don't get it. You don't eat, you look sick, Liv's warning me not to be alone with you."

Sonny fell silent in front of Barba's defeated gaze...

"If it went as far as Liv warning you, Carisi, then I'm going to have to explain some things to you.I hope it won't scare you. I won't sugarcoat it. Are you familiar with the concept of vampires?"

Sonny's brain started spinning at 100 miles per hour, just one word and everything became clear, at last a way of speaking. Barba who doesn't eat, his pallor, his office always in the dark, his ability to be so quickly healed of his wound?

"You're a vampire." It was a statement, not a question, but Barba glanced up as if Sonny had shouted it instead of whispering it.

"Very good, Carisi, magnificent spirit of deduction. There may still be hope for you..."

"Don't change the subject! Now everything makes sense. If you can't feed yourself, there's a reason why Olivia warned me about being alone with you, and the fact that you've never stayed in Forlini lately, and now that I think about it, you haven't been on trial since you've been back, in fact you avoid crowded places to avoid sucking everyone dry..." 

Sonny got up from his chair and walked away from the desk. 

"Carisi..." Barba raised his eyes to the ceiling and made a gesture for Sonny to sit down again. "Calm down, I have still some control. You're right about a few things, Carisi, but the reason I can't stand being around other people is because the hunger is hard to control." 

He paused for a moment and continued, "I haven't been eating properly since I was shot. I have lost a lot of blood and although that alone makes me hungry like a wolf, not being able to feed myself properly only makes the situation worse. I have substitutes to control myself, but I don't know how long I can go without taking true blood. It's getting more and more dangerous to stay close to me, Carisi, because I don't know how long I can control myself. During the day, I can push away the hunger because my nature is not so strong, but at night..."

Sonny's mind got confused. If he was not wrong, it had been almost three weeks since Barba had not been eating properly. 

"But how come you don't feed yourself? I mean, I know that there are people who sell their services to feed vampires, or blood bags, so why not use those means?"

"I may sound like a snob to you, but I refuse to pick someone random, it's too impersonal given the intimacy of the act, and as for blood bags, my moral compass, if I have one, prevents me from depriving hospitals of them to satisfy my appetite. I will find a way to solve this problem, Carisi, don't worry about it".

"What about animal's blood?"

"Their blood doesn't have the same composition as the human blood I need. It's a short-term solution at best."

"Could you... could you feed on me?" And there it was, once again his mouth worked faster than his brain.

"What?!"

"I said you could feed on me. I don't mind, really..."

"Get out!" Barba hadn't screamed, but it was cutting enough to shut Sonny up. He looked up, his mouth slightly open, as Barba approached him.

"I told you to get out, Carisi! I won't let you make a fool of me! Get out of here!"

"I meant it! I want to help you! I'm not kidding! I was sincere... even though I clearly didn't think about it." 

Sonny stood up too. He felt uncomfortable sitting down, while Barba dominated him. He forced himself to meet the eyes towards and not away from him.

He took a deep breath and considered the fact that the ADA was not insulting him to be a good thing. He continued. "I know you may not agree with this, but it seems to me the right thing to do. I can come whenever you need me, nobody will question it, since I've often been seen working with you, and you don't have to look for a donor or go against your principles. I want to help you, I really do..."

Barba seemed to freeze as he stood by the desk and then whispered, 

"Be very sure of what you're offering, Carisi, very sure."

"I am sure." replied Sonny with all the strength and determination he could convey. 

Barba stepped forward before shaking his head, "I suggest you leave now and come back tomorrow if you are still sure of your offer. Then we'll talk about it and know that if you've changed your mind, it won't change our working relationship."

Sonny nodded. It was a good suggestion. Although when he left the office, he already knew what his answer would be, even though he was a little afraid of the next meeting with Barba.

_____

Sonny wasn't sure how he had managed to get through the day. Throughout the night he had turned around, unable to sleep thinking about what was going to happen. Would Barba jump on him the moment Sonny walked through the door, or would he reject him because he too had had time to think and thought that Sonny wouldn't be good enough for him?

He had no idea. He did some Google research, in the short moments of the day when he had the time, but there were so many different theories and myths that he couldn't figure out what was fake and what was real, and to ask Mike or Nick was impossible without revealing Rafael's secret to them and arousing their suspicions.

He hoped that Barba would agree to answer his questions and explain to him how it was going to happen.

"So, what happened yesterday between you and Barba?" All day long, he had managed to keep his friends at a distance, but it seemed that Mike was too curious to hold out for more than 24 hours. Nick looked at him too, a curious glint in his eye, and Sonny sighed.

"Nothing happened. He gave me a mountain of material to read and sort through on "habeas corpus" papers, at least I was allowed to ask questions, and we'll do it again tonight, so think it over before you get your silly ideas next time." Sonny felt guilty to lie to his friends.

"So, nothing happened? Nothing at all?"

"No, nothing happened."

"So you didn't get a chance to tell him how you felt?"

"No, I haven't, and I don't intend to do so anytime soon. I have no intention of dashing my hopes and not being able to see him at all..."

"I'm sure if you give him a chance to respond, he might surprise you."

"Nick, with all due respect, let me have my dreams, okay? I'll tell him when I think the time is right and I really don't think you can lecture me about timing. You wasted a year before you told each other how you both felt. And even then it took a big push from Fin and me. I appreciate your concern but in the end it's none of your business. I'll tell him when I'm ready. And now I'm going back. Bye guys. I'll text you tomorrow.

He got up, Mike nodded and smiled. "Give him a kiss, Sonny. It might work."

Sonny ignored him, came out of the precinct and headed for Barba's office. On the way, he texted Nick and Mike.

' _ If you don't hear from me in the morning, call Olivia and tell her who I was with. _ '

He forced himself to stay relaxed. He still had to convince Barba that this was what he really wanted. It would be an almost impossible task. Barba was a man known to be stubborn.

He took a deep breath as he stood in front of the door and quickly knocked before he lost his cool. He opened the door and entered when Barba asked him to come in. This time he was sitting behind his desk. Barba looked up as Sonny approached. 

"Have you made up your mind, Carisi?" The deep voice was barely above a whisper, but Sonny could hear him perfectly.

"Yes, Barba. My offer still stands... I want to help you..."

Barba glanced at him a little surprised, as if he was sure the young man would have changed his mind, and then he nodded. 

"I want you to know that I am not very comfortable with the situation, there are things we need to discuss, things you need to be aware of. First of all, there's the pain, when I am feeding it might really hurt, although I've always tried to make things pleasant for my donor. If you want to avoid direct contact between us, I can do it with a knife, which is the most painful. If I bite you, my saliva will act as a painkiller, you will receive a dose of endorphin which will soothe the pain but could cause arousal too. The choice is yours Carisi."

Sonny, with burning cheeks, nodded before asking,"Can you... call me Sonny? It's just a little weird to hear you call me Carisi when I'm about to give you my blood..."

"Of course...Sonny. But before we go any further, how about we go somewhere a little more private, I know for appearances that my office is more appropriate, but for the first time at least, I think it's better that we're in a more comfortable place, don't you think? Don't get the wrong idea about my next question though, your place or mine?"

"I think I'll prefer your place." Sonny thought that at least he could see Rafael in his surroundings. 

"All right, Sonny."

Curiosity helped him a little to overcome the slight anguish in his stomach. Lost in his thoughts, he went with Barba to his apartment as if in fog, letting himself be completely led by the ADA.

Sonny had no idea what awaited him. In front of the door, as Barba opened, he half expected Barba to jump on him and push him against the wall while the man sucked his neck and took everything he wanted from him. And if he was honest with himself, there was something rather exciting about this thought.

However, he was invited to enter a living room that looked very cozy. There was a leather sofa and in front of the fireplace there were two matching armchairs that looked comfortable and a small table. Bookcases covered most of the walls and there were three doors that led to other rooms. On the other side of the room, there was a counter that separated it from the kitchen. In one corner was a desk with various books and papers. The whole thing gave Sonny a warm feeling he had not expected to feel by Barba.

The shutters were closed and, without thinking, Sonny asked "Is sunlight dangerous for you?"

Barba turned around, that little lopsided smile that Sonny liked so much appeared and his green eyes shone with amusement.

"Very little indeed. While it's true that I'm sensitive to light, I'm not going to end up in dust, you'll see that there's a lot of legend in what is said about us. Come and sit down, I'll tell you everything you want to know."

Barba made a gesture towards the sofa and Sonny sat down. Barba sat next to him, keeping a slight distance between them.

"First of all, I'm grateful for your help and your offer, Sonny. It wouldn't be the way I would have chosen, but at the moment I have little choice. What do you want to know?"

"The classic questions, do you have a reflection, do you breathe, do garlic, crosses and holy water have an effect on you, how many times do you need to feed, will I turn into a vampire?"

"Yes, I can see myself in a mirror, obviously I would say, am I not the lawyer with the best fashion sense?" Rafael asked him with a cheeky smile.

"It makes sense…"

"Yes I breath like a normal person, I hate garlic when someone talks too closely to me after eating it, but that as well as crosses and holy water have no effect on me. In case you become my regular donor, I think every 2-3 days would be ideal. But I think that's a question for later. And no you won't turn into a vampire unless you drink my blood."

He gave Sonny time to digest all his information before resuming, "after these explanations, I want to know what you have decided, because depending on your decision, things will be different. Have you decided whether you want me to use a knife or drink from your neck? I wouldn't want to see you suffer or be uncomfortable because you have so generously offered yourself to me."

Sonny couldn't help but blush as he asked, "Does it really hurt in the neck?"

"Pleasure far outweighs pain, I can promise you that. Like your first time..."

"I wouldn't know what it's like..." 

Once again when he saw Barba's surprise, he cursed his mouth for working faster than his brain.

"Really ?" Barba's voice betrayed nothing and Sonny nodded, embarrassed. Barba leaned forward, his eyes fixed on Sonny as he continued. "I mean, it doesn't matter, it doesn't change anything, but I'm surprised."

"Hum. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, or maybe it's my Catholic upbringing, or maybe both, but I can't do that without feeling, and until now, there was anyone like that." Sonny said that with a determined and proud tone, defying Barba to make fun of him.

But Barba just put his hand on Sonny's forearm and said, "Hey, that wasn't a criticism. Just curiosity. It's even to your credit Sonny. But then, are you sure you're comfortable with this? It can be a very sexual experience, and I can understand that you wouldn't want to share that with me."

Sonny's mouth went dry. This was his chance to say something, was he going to pass it up? He took a deep breath, thought about the first time he had to dive into the deep end and jumped in.

"I don't want to share it with anyone but you."

He closed his eyes for a moment, eagerly awaiting the moment when Barba was going to throw him out. 

"Then I suggest we begin." Barba raised an eyebrow and Sonny wiped his suddenly sweaty palms on his pants. He nodded before asking.

"How can we... How do we do this?"

"It would be easier if you lay down. You may feel weak after that and I have no desire to lift you off the floor. I'm not twenty anymore. The couch armrest will do the trick. I'd have better access to your neck."

Sonny nodded again and slipped slowly towards the corner of the couch. He rearranged the cushions a little to his comfort. He laid down on his side to get a view of the fireplace and then glanced at Barba.

"Is it good like that?"

Barba hummed his approval before approaching and sat down next to Sonny on the edge of the sofa. "You're going to have to open your shirt a little so I have better access if you don't mind".

Sonny straightened up, opened the first buttons on his shirt,  sliding the fabric away from the side that was going to be exposed, and then returned to his position. 

Rafael asked him again, "One more time, are you really sure about this?"

"Yes, but if you ask me again, I might say no." answered Sonny with a cheek he was far from feeling.

"Tontito." 

Barba's fingers were cold when they touched Sonny's skin. Sonny shivered, but he forced himself to lie still as Barba leaned over him. Sonny closed his eyes, expecting the stings of fangs or perhaps a stronger pain, but not that. He opened his eyes when he felt Barba licking his neck. Barba raised his head and the green eyes crossed Sonny's eyes before resuming his task.

Barba continued to lick him and, to his embarrassment, Sonny felt his cock start to twitch. He closed his eyes again and enjoyed the warm breath he felt on his sensitive skin and the warm tongue that continued to lick the same spot. Just as he felt the pleasure carry him away in a kind of torpor, Rafael bit him deeply and started to drink. Sonny gasped a little at the sensation, but the next moment one of Barba's hands rested on his, squeezing gently and Sonny relaxed.

It didn't really hurt and Sonny was quite surprised. He could feel the pain fading to be replaced by the pleasure that spread warmly throughout his body. In his position, he couldn't touch his dick, but he felt it was hard as rock.

He licked his suddenly dry lips, raising heavy eyes to look at Barba. He shook the hand still stuck on his as his lips tried to form words. "Rafael...."

He was adrift in an ocean of pleasure and only became aware of his surroundings when Rafael started licking his neck again.

He whined when the vampire got up, already feeling the lack, but Rafael bent down and brushed his lips against Sonny's. Sonny turned around to lie on his back, he pulled Barba onto him and opened his mouth to taste his blood on Barba's lips.

He couldn't help to move his hips against the firm thigh which was pressed against his crotch. The pleasure continued to run through his body. Rafael was kissing like no one had ever kissed him before. It was as invasive as the bite. As if he was asking for it again. He wrapped his long arms around Barba's broad shoulders as he felt his orgasm rise, between the kiss and the constant pressure of Rafael's thigh against his more than sensitive cock. His body was filled with uncontrollable shivers, and Sonny struggled to keep his eyes open, but he couldn't do it. The explosion of pleasure came on him like a blast, sweeping everything in his path, then his limbs got heavier as if all the tension had disappeared and Sonny felt his mind go before fainting on Rafael's couch.

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

The only thing Sonny realized when he woke up was that everything hurt. His head was pounding, his stomach was in bad shape and he felt completely frozen.

A hand touched his forehead in a soothing way before running it through his hair and someone whispered, "Don't try to move too much, you've lost a lot of blood".

The voice was melodious and familiar. If only Sonny didn't have such a hard time remembering everything. He opened his eyes to find himself in front of a pair of green eyes.

He was surprised by Rafael's change. His skin had regained his golden color, his eyes had again the sparkle that gave them such a special color, and he smiled, not those mocking or manipulative smiles he used for his work, just a genuine happy smile, he looked so much healthier. Sonny shivered.

Rafael asked him, "Are you cold?"

Sonny nodded. He felt like his throat was on fire and Rafael silently handed him a glass and a pill. Sonny felt so weak that he couldn't even hold the glass. It slipped out of his fingers but Rafael caught it just in time. He put the pill in Sonny's mouth and held the glass to his lips, "Drink, it's a vitamin cocktail that boosts blood replenishment. It will help you feel better."

Sonny felt weak, but tried to get up anyway.

"You need to rest, Sonny, and get your strength back." Sonny stood up anyway. His legs didn't follow and he fell back to the couch with his full weight.

"What do you think you're doing?" 

"I'm going home..."

"Sonny...do you honestly think I'm going to allow you to go home in this state? You need a good night's rest and food. Tomorrow is Saturday, so unless you have other plans..."

Without a word, Sonny shook his head, anyway lately he never had anything to do on weekends. Rafael looked at him attentively and said, "Alright, then I think it's best if we go to my room. Unless you are already hungry?"

"Is it normal that it's that bad?" Sonny whispered and Rafael looked at him  apologetically .

"Yes, I am sorry, it's because I took more than I should have in a normal state. Once I start eating, especially when I'm very hungry, it's hard to stop. This is usually what drives vampires to kill their victims. Hunger takes them too far and they can't stop. But the next time, if you're still willing of course, it should be much better"

Sonny blinked at Rafael before gently saying, "Why can't I see your fangs? I thought that hungry vampires always have their fangs on the outside".

"I can retract them. But do you really need to know that right now? I'd rather you rest before we discuss all of this, okay?" Rafael seemed worried about him. 

"No, I can wait," Sonny yawned back. "I think I really need to sleep."

"All right, then come with me."

Rafael helped him up and held him until they got to the room. Sonny glanced around him. The room was large and there was a double bed with two bedside tables. There was a wardrobe on the side. 

Rafael folded down the sheets, then gently helped Sonny to lie down and covered him right away. Looking up, Sonny saw that Rafael was looking at him. 

The green eyes were illuminated by something that looked like desire, but it was Rafael and Sonny thought that given his state of fatigue he must have misinterpreted what he was seeing . Surely he couldn't desire Sonny? Just because Sonny had fallen in love with Rafael didn't mean that Rafael returned those feelings to him. The kiss they shared was only because of the intensity of the feeding. Anyone would feel the same way.

"I can sleep somewhere else if you want..."

"Sonny, I don't intend to spend most of the night making sure you're warm enough when I have a bed that's perfectly big enough for both of us, so if you're not feeling well, I can help you right away".

"Thank you...I'm not used to such thoughtfulness..."

That was the truth. During certain cases where he was sometimes injured, when he had been beaten up undercover or when he had been almost shot, no one ever cared about his well-being afterwards. Because Sonny was a naturally cheerful person, everyone assumed that he could take care of himself very well.

"You have very kindly allowed me to feed on you, Sonny. I couldn't in good conscience allow you to go home without taking care of you. Now, do you intend to chat all night or can we sleep?"

"Sleeping is good." He heard Rafael moving around the room. The blankets were lifted up and Sonny opened his eyes when he felt him slide in beside him. He sank even deeper under the blankets as he shivered again. He was so cold and all he wanted to do was sleep. The next moment, an arm went around his waist and he was pulled back to rest against a warm, firm body. Sonny stiffened slightly and turned around to look at Rafael. Rafael looked at him with a surprisingly soft glow in his eyes. 

"Don't worry, I won't bite, not this time."

Sonny relaxed in Rafael's arms, he knew this would be the best night's rest he'd had in a while.

___

Upon waking up, Sonny realized that he still had one arm around his waist. Rafael was still sound asleep. He looked so relaxed. Yawning, Sonny buried his head against Rafael's chest and closed his eyes in the hope of falling back asleep. But he felt Rafael wake up and looked up to meet Rafael's eyes.

"Good morning." 

Rafael's hoarse morning voice woke up something in Sonny. 

"Good morning." 

"How do you feel?" Rafael's voice had a tender and warm tone that he had never heard before, or at least never when he was talking to Sonny.

"I feel much better, and you, how do you feel?

Rafael smiled gently and looked at Sonny for a moment before saying, "I feel better than I have in a while. It seems you were right to make this offering and I have to thank you again". 

This time the smile became dangerous as Rafael leaned over and said.

"If you hadn't made your offering, maybe in a few days I would have jumped on you and it wouldn't have been the right way. Be careful Mr. Carisi, because your blood is very sweet and I could very quickly become addicted".

It almost looked like a promise and Sonny's eyes lingered on the lips which opened to reveal two slightly threatening fangs. Sonny's eyes widened and he looked up. Rafael watched him, standing still before slowly reducing the distance between them. The next moment, a pair of lips were pressed against Sonny's. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth while a tongue licked his lips and invited him to explore Rafael's mouth. Their kiss intensified as Sonny enthusiastically returned it. Once again he felt the arousal build quickly and pressed Rafael against him to deepen their kiss.

When they parted to catch their breath, Sonny stared at Rafael with eyes full of desire. Rafael's eyes were dilated and he asked, "What do you want, Sonny?"

"You..." Sonny had no intention of hiding anymore and if that's all he could get, just this once, then he wouldn't hesitate. "I want you inside me and I want you to feed."

Rafael smiled at him and said softly, "Only if you are completely sure..."

If Sonny didn't already love Rafael so much, he would have fallen in love at that moment, while at the height of the passion, Rafael was still making sure Sonny was in full agreement.

"I am sure..." Sonny breathed. He lifted Rafael's head up so that he could kiss him deeply. Then Rafael move slightly aside again.

"It's not just because of the aphrodisiac effects of my saliva, is it? Are you sure about this? There is no second first time."

Sonny smiled and said softly, because he had nothing left to lose, "To be honest, I've been wanting to do this with you for a while, actually, I didn't know how to tell you. You know me I'm never very good at putting words to my thoughts." 

"Really? Yet your little demonstration with your friends the other day tells me otherwise." Rafael showed him once again that he had not been fooled.

"That was mostly the fault of my two idiots of colleagues. "

Sonny paused for a moment before adding, "Rafael, it's my turn to ask you, you're not doing this with me just because I'm supplying you with blood, aren't you? Because you've never made me thought that you could be attracted to me like that."

"Sonny, I want to be honest with you. If I seemed reluctant to drink your blood at first, it's precisely because I too am attracted to you. And I didn't want to alienate you to me in that way. But you made me this proposal and you were determined. I am only a man, a vampire yes, but just a man, you offered me the grail on a platter, I couldn't refuse it."

Sonny smiled back at him. "Could you pinch me? Because I think I'm dreaming, I thought I just heard you saying you were attracted to me."

Rafael put his hand in Sonny's shirt and gently pinched a nipple. Sonny arched with pleasure.

"So sensitive... so, Sonny? Convinced that you are not dreaming?"

"Hmmm...I don't know, maybe I need more proof."

"I think that can be arranged." 

Rafael, impatient, straddled Sonny and ripped his shirt open, wasting no time with the buttons. Sonny was startled, it was thrilling to see Rafael lose control. Then he gasped, it was the first time that he saw Rafael's eyes in his vampire form, they were still green, but had taken on the color of the purest emerald, and he could read the hunger in them, a hunger that was reflected in the predatory smile that Rafael gave him before he leaned over to focus on Sonny's chest. He teased the buds one by one with the tip of his tongue and nipped them lightly, Sonny pushed his feet into the bed and moaned softly, overwhelmed by the pleasure waves that assaulted him.

"Rafael..."

"I see you're enjoying it. So still not convinced that this is not a dream cariño?" purred Rafael continuing to lavish his attention on the hardened nipples.

"Ngh...I don't know..."

"I can see that it will take a lot more persuasion..."

Rafael's words vibrated against Sonny's stomach his tongue continued its path to his waistband. Then Sonny could not hold a complaint when Rafael got up to take off his shirt. But the complaint became admiration at the sight of Rafael shirtless. He tried to memorized that view, because if it happened only once, he didn't want to forget it. 

Then hands landed on the black trousers and Sonny began to drool as he imagined what was hidden in it. He was rewarded when the vampire stood up to take off his pants and revealed a long, thick dick that rose proudly.

Sonny could stare at Rafael all day long, but he knew that in order to move on, he had to take off his own pants. He quickly did so along with his underpants and socks and dropped them next to the bed. He looked up, lying against the pillows, searching Rafael's eyes.

The green eyes burned brightly as they devoured Sonny from head to toe. Sonny wondered if Rafael was going to say anything. The warmth of the green eyes made him blush.

Rafael smiled in such a way that his fangs showed up as he whispered. "Hermoso..." The tone was sweet and affectionate, and Sonny heard it, his meager Spanish basics allowing him to understand. He smiled, unable to hide the pleasure this word gave him. 

He sat down and leaned forward to kiss Rafael, letting him know that he was ready to continue. Rafael took right away control of the kiss, Sonny lied down again and pulled the man on him. Rafael buried his nose in his neck, then reached out a hand to grab something, while continuing to suck on the skin in the hollow of his collarbone.

Sonny saw it was a bottle of lube and mischievously said, "Did you have it all figured out?"

"It's never bad to be prepared. And you must know from working with me, that preparation is something I value." Rafael took a look at him as he coated his fingers. Sonny had to bite his lip to stop himself from moaning because the sight of Rafael's long, lubricated fingers excited him even more. 

"Please, Raf..."

"Yes cariño?"

"I want you...now!"

"And you're going to get me Sonny." 

Rafael took a pillow and placed it under Sonny's hips to lift them slightly. Sonny let his legs open when Rafael leaned over him. 

Kissing him gently, Rafael said softly, "Try to relax, it won't hurt so much if you do". Sonny closed his eyes as a finger pressed against his entrance. Rafael's finger went around the taut muscle several times before gently pushing inside. The burn of being stretched was painful, but the thin lips touched his in a kiss to distract him and Sonny allowed him to let go of the sensation, his confidence in Rafael complete.

Rafael was gentle and patient, slowly pushing his finger deeper inside, and before adding a second finger, then a third, he made sure at each step that Sonny was completely relaxed. His lips did not leave Sonny's until he caught his breath and added a little lubricant. 

On the third finger, Sonny deepened their kiss, waiting for the burn to turn into pleasure, which soon happened. He mewled softly as Rafael curled his fingers just a little and brushed something that sent waves of pleasure down Sonny's spine. 

He reached down his throat with pleasure and pushed his face against Rafael's neck, clinging to the other man. Rafael blew in his ear, "Do you like that Sonny?" with the same caress.

"I...I do, I do, I do. It feels so good."

"Well you see, I feel the same pleasure drinking from you, because you offer it to me so freely, I feel the same pleasure knowing that I'm the first one you offer yourself to in this way, I feel the same pleasure hearing you moan with pleasure because it's my hand that gives you that pleasure." 

Sonny couldn't hold back the single tear that rolled down his cheek in response to the emotion that Rafael's words provoked. A hand moved through his hair before wiping the tear away and Rafael moved away causing Sonny to feel an immeasurable emptiness.

Then he saw that Rafael had sat down and began to generously coat his cock with lubricant. Sonny straightened up and started climbing on Rafael's lap. His hands held him firmly and rested on his hips, Rafael could not hide his surprise and pleasure at Sonny's gesture. The green eyes gazed into Sonny's, filled with tender affection as Sonny stooped over Rafael's cock, chewing his lip lightly against the burn. Rafael closed his eyes with obvious pleasure and Sonny smiled. He loved to see his vampire lose control like that. He kissed him, moving slowly up and down experimentally. Rafael moaned softly and Sonny liked this sound even more.

Rafael moved his hips slightly so as to hit that place in him that gave him so much pleasure. The next moment, a wet tongue licked his neck. Sonny's arms tightened around Rafael's broad shoulders as he prepared for the brief pain that would come from the bite.

The pain was indeed brief but the pleasure was instantaneous. Sonny was gasping, unable to hold his orgasm any longer. When Rafael began to feed, Sonny began to come with a long scream, and couldn't stop himself from falling onto his back. Rafael followed on top of him, sucking and pushing him at the same time. Sonny wrapped his legs around Rafael's waist, and for the second time that night, Sonny lost consciousness.

A little later, Sonny woke up, still wrapped around Rafael. The vampire calmly stroked his hair. Their legs were comfortably intertwined and Rafael had turned on his side and pulled Sonny into his arms.

"Ah, glad to see you're back with us again." Sonny's head was heavy but he looked up anyway. Rafael looked at him and leaned over to kiss Sonny.

"You blood tastes divine, cariño."

"I'm glad...it means you can never let me go." Sonny could feel the exhaustion taking hold of him. He had to fight to keep his eyes open and one hand caressed him slowly while Rafael whispered to him, "Sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

And as Sonny snuggled against him, he realized that Rafael hadn't denied and couldn't stop the hope from blossoming inside him.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

"Who the hell is making such a noise at this hour?" 

Rafael's voice grumbled and footsteps woke Sonny from the deep sleep he was in. He opened his eyes and blinked because of the strong sunlight coming in through the shutters to his face. He realized the footsteps were those of Rafael walking heavily showing his displeasure. 

He came back to the bed and sat, leaning against the headboard. Seeing that Sonny was awake, he handed him his phone with an exasperated sigh.

Sonny looked at his phone screen and seeing who has been called, he exclaimed, "Damn it! Mike and Nick! I told them that if they didn't hear from me this morning, they were to call me and contact the lieutenant.

He had barely finished his sentence when they heard a knock on Rafael's door.

"Rafael! Rafael! Rafael! Rafael! Open up!" That was Olivia's voice.

Rafael got up and seeing that Sonny wanted to do the same, he pushed him back into bed and covered him, "I'll take care of it. Stay in bed, you're not ready to get out yet.

He went out and closed the bedroom door on him and Sonny heard him open the front door.

"Liv, what's the meaning of this?" Rafael's voice betrayed nothing.

"Dodds and Amaro called me. They said that last night Sonny was supposed to have a work session with you and they hadn't heard from him today. He told them to call me if that was the case."

"Liv, Carisi's as good as can be expected at this point-" 

"What did you do?"

"If you'd be so kind as to let me finish, you'd know where Carisi is at the moment and that he's all right under the circumstances..."

"Rafael, you look healthier, don't tell me you have fed?" 

Sonny imagined the way Rafael rolled his eyes now.

"No, I did a UV session..."

"I'm here, Olivia."Sonny, tired of waiting, had gotten up, put on his pants and shirt -opened,  because the buttons were scattered on the floor \- and was standing in the doorway, Rafael turned around to look at him.

"Carisi? Rafael, really?"

"He offered himself! I didn't jump on him and dragged him as soon as he entered my office, if that's what you mean. Thanks for the vote of confidence, I can see how much you think of me."

"I've known your attraction to him from the beginning, Raf. But I guess now that I see the state you and Carisi are in, I don't have to worry about not seeing my detective again Monday morning?"

Rafael pinched the bridge of his nose before turning to Sonny and said to him with a predatory smile. "I'm sure the weekend will be enough to fill me up, won't it, Sonny?"

The hunger in those green eyes made Sonny realize what the main activity of the weekend was going to be, and better yet, it implied that they were going to spend the weekend together.

"Carisi, don't forget to reassure Amaro and Dodds that they don't need to worry about their friend and that he is safe. He's safe, Rafael, isn't he?"

The man rolled his eyes before saying, "Of course, Liv. Have you ever seen that I hurt those who give me blood? You know how the bond between a donor and a vampire works, don't you?"

Olivia bowed her head and said gently. "You're right, Raf. I'm leaving you. Carisi, be on time on Monday, I won't be as magnanimous as I was last time."

"No, of course not." Sonny mumbled under his breath. 

Sonny went back to bed and saw Rafael go into the room, his bathrobe was not much to hold on to and Sonny would have liked it to fall on the way. As if Rafael had read his mind, he opened the robe and let it drop on the floor. Sonny raised the blankets so that Rafael could slip into bed and huddle gratefully against his firm chest. 

"Looks like Olivia knows a lot about you. So you've been attracted to me from the beginning."

"Are you fishing for a compliment, Sonny?"

Sonny couldn't get tired of hearing Rafael's voice say his name.

"Yes...coming from you, each compliment is precious."

"It's just that I don't often do it to keep its value."

Rafael ran a hand behind Sonny's back while the young man snuggled even more against him and he asked him gently. "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine, I'm not so sleepy anymore but I'm getting hungry. Although I'm not sure I can do anything else today, I get headaches when I move too much or too fast.

"I suggest that you eat several times today instead of one heavy meal. Do you have any plans?"

Sonny yawned. He didn't feel as bad as he thought he did. He was just tired. He took a look at Rafael. 

"No, nothing at all for the whole weekend. How about you?"

Rafael smiled. "I can think of other things I'd rather discuss or do with you."

Rafael's voice was soft and warm. 

"Sleeping would be one of them, I hope?" Sonny asked hopefully. 

Rafael laughed softly, smiling against Sonny's skin before saying, "If you want to sleep so badly, then do it. I'll be here when you wake up." And with that promise in mind, Sonny fell into a deep sleep.

When he woke up, Sonny felt like something was missing. He glanced around the room. The darkness he could see through the curtains made Sonny realize that he had slept all day. He had never slept so long, even when he was sick. He sat slowly and wondered where Rafael was. He said he would be here when Sonny woke up. Sonny hurried to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and washed his hands. He didn't look as bad as he thought he did. He was paler, yes, and there were shadows under his eyes, but overall, for giving blood twice in one night, Sonny could have looked worse.

When Sonny came out of the bathroom, he looked for his clothes. They weren't where he had left them, next to the bed. He frowned and took the bathrobe that Rafael had worn before. It was at the end of the bed, but Sonny could only remember Rafael when he took it off. 

Making sure the belt was fastened securely, Sonny entered the living room. This room was empty too. The door next to the bedroom door was slightly open and Sonny walked towards it. Maybe Rafael was there. He opened the door a little wider and smiled when he saw that he was sitting behind a desk typing on his computer. He was so absorbed in his work that he didn't even notice when Sonny entered the room.

Sonny leaned against the door to enjoy the sight of the man lost in his concentration. Moments later, he entered the room, making almost no noise on the carpet and put both hands on Rafael's shoulders. Rafael turned his head to look at him and Sonny smiled shyly, "I hope I'm not bothering you."

He wasn't sure if what he was doing was right. He didn't know if Rafael would like to be interrupted, but it seemed so natural to him that Sonny had done it without thinking about it. Rafael pushed his chair back and pulled him on his lap, that was enough of an answer.

"I think I'm entitled to a little break." Rafael looked at him for a long time before asking "Are you hungry?"

"A little. I guess I could use some food. What time is it?"

"It's a little after eight o'clock. I thought it would be better to let you sleep undisturbed during the day and allow you to wake up by yourself. That's usually the best way to recover."

Sonny leaned his head against Rafael's shoulder as he put a hand on his thigh revealed by the open robe and asked, "No clothes?."

"I couldn't find them and couldn't be bothered to look anywhere else." Sonny replied.

"I'm not complaining." Rafael's voice was a deep growl. The warm breath was spreading over Sonny's ear before a warm tongue licking around the shell made Sonny moan with pleasure.

He looked at Rafael through his eyelashes. He watched him smiling so that his fangs were visible.

"Honestly, if you hadn't sacrificed yourself, I don't know what I would have done. I think I should have resigned myself to choosing one of the two solutions I abhor."

Sonny laughs softly. He raised his hand and caressed Rafael's cheek, saying softly. "And deprive you of my so addictive taste."

Rafael nibbled his lower lip. "I have to admit that you really do have a very sweet taste. Perhaps I'm inclined never to let you go."

"I doubt I want you to." Sonny wasn't sure why he was saying it, but he glanced shyly as he did so. He had been dreaming of such moment for a long time. He didn't want it to end so quickly.

Rafael tightened his arms around him. "Then perhaps you should consent to become my lover and my donor? To protect future generations, of course." Rafael's smile was confident, but Sonny could tell that he was waiting for his answer.

He took a deep breath and smiled before saying. "I guess I'm going to have to sacrifice myself. Or you could turn me and I could spend all eternity with you."

"It seems you read too much nonsense on Google. Vampires only live longer because we don't age as quickly. I am no more immortal than you are. I almost died when I was shot."

"I know." Sonny swallowed, realizing he had been so close to losing Rafael. "I just like to tease you. So no chance of turning you into a bat or a wolf?

Rafael sniffed. "Barely. Or turn into a pile of dust by the first light of the sun." He looked serious and continued, "And what do you think your friends are going to say about our relationship? 

"They're going to be happy for me. It was Mike who was the most curious about what was going on with you. Nick wanted to do some research and they know I'm crazy about y-"

"What?!"

Damn it, once again Sonny had spoken faster than he should. Though Rafael didn't react as Sonny expected. He took his head in his hands, and Sonny saw an unknown glimmer in his eyes, like a fragile hope.

"Sonny, do you really mean it?"

Sonny nodded.

"Tell me, I want to hear you say it."

Sonny knew this moment would be decisive. And as always, because he didn't want to regret anything, he chose to be bold and said in a clear voice, "I love you, Rafael."

Rafael exhaled and placed his forehead on Sonny's. After a moment of silence he whispered, "You know Sonny, when I was transformed, I resigned myself to living a solitary life. And you came along, and you cracked my world, you insinuated yourself, even giving me hope. In spite of my character and my failings, you came back again and again. But there was this secret, this huge secret. And there again, you swept it all away, and you offered yourself, without even expecting anything in return. You can understand my disbelief as I navigate in a world where everything is just bargaining and compromise. Sonny, you have defeated me, completely defeated me. Not only do you give me your blood but you give me your love. I don't know what good I've done to deserve such a gift."

"Oh Rafael" Sonny paused, his voice hoarse because of the emotion, before resuming, "You didn't do anything to deserve this because there's nothing to deserve when it's given freely. Just be you and love me just a little bit. It's not the lawyer, it's not the Vampire, it's not the mentor that I fell in love with, but you Rafael, who mock me but never go so far as to hurt me, who are visibly annoyed when I give my legal opinion but listen patiently until the end, who is devastated when losing a case, but not for you, only for the victim, who would have refused to feed yourself rather than hurt me, and who kept me close to you all night to make sure I'm okay. You don't need to do anything to deserve my love, you just have to be you."

"Sonny..." for once in his life Rafael seemed to run out of words and his lips fell on Sonny's, who moaned in response. He moved a little away and continued, "Sonny, outside of a courtroom or my office, when it comes to feelings, I'm not good with words, let me show you what you mean to me." He took Sonny's hand and took him into the bedroom to illustrate his point. He showed him, and when he was finished, Sonny had no more doubts about how Rafae's feeling.

____

Sonny had woken up early that Monday morning because he had to go home to put on clean clothes and get ready for the coming work week. He and Rafael had had a hard time separating, but tonight they planned to meet at Sonny's so the separation wouldn't be long, at least not too long. On the way to the precinct he had coffee for everyone and added cannoli for his friends, to make up for the worry he had given them.

The precinct was almost empty and he had just sat down to enjoy his coffee and pastries, when suddenly a loud "Sonny" made him look up.

Mike and Nick had just walked in and from the look on their faces, they barely seemed to have slept and Sonny smiled despite the slight feeling of guilt he felt at the thought of being responsible for their lack of sleep.

He took a sip while he waited for them to join him. 

"What happened, Sonny? Olivia said you were okay but nothing more, saying it wasn't up to her to say the rest." 

"Sonny, you look pale and what are those marks there?" Count on Mike to go directly to the point.

After talking it over with Rafael, the two men decided they wouldn't hide, but they wouldn't shout it from the rooftops either. So Rafael had not been shy about leaving marks all over Sonny's body. He had been surprised by Rafael's possessive side. That's why he really didn't know what mark Mike was talking about. Sonny realized that maybe it was time to tell them what had happened before they drew the wrong conclusions.

"Listen, let me finish my coffee and I'll tell you all about it. This weekend has been tiring and I need my caffeine fix so I can work efficiently."

Mike looked like he was about to protest, but Nick placed one hand on his shoulder and pulled him around the desk to sit across from Sonny. Sonny handed them the cannoli. 

"To make up for the stress," he said with a half smile. The couple relaxed, seeing that Sonny seemed to be doing really well.

"First of all, I want to tell you that I'm sorry I didn't contact you to let you know I was okay, but I really wasn't in any condition to do anything but sleep. I was so exhausted that I think in total I slept about 20 hours or more. Rafael says it's completely normal after…."

"Rafael?" Mike had just taken a sip of his coffee and almost choked on it.

"Will you let me finish?"

Mike nodded. Satisfied that Nick didn't say anything either, Sonny continued, "As I was saying, Rafael says it's perfectly natural after allowing him to feed on me twice in one night."

"Feed?" Mike's expression darkened a little before Nick realized and leaned over to whisper.

"Sonny, is Barba a vampire?"

"Bingo, Nick."

"That would explain why he was so pale and skinny. Or why he couldn't stand to be around us if he hadn't fed for too long. Besides, it makes sense that you couldn't have been able to do anything Saturday if he ate twice..."

"It also explains why he looks so much better now." Mike whispered softly. Nick turned to him frowning.

"And how do you know that?"

"Because he's walking towards us right now." Sonny felt a shiver in his stomach as he looked up. Mike was right. Rafael was walking towards them, beautiful, his coat flying around him. The green eyes fixed on Sonny and Sonny felt the need to gulp. He let his gaze fall on the table for a moment. The man looked too sexy so early in the morning.

"Amaro and Dodds, already here too?"

"We were worried about Sonny, counselor. We just wanted to make sure he was okay."

"I guess only he can answer that question, right Mr. Carisi?" Sonny smiled kindly at Rafael before turning to his friends and reassuring them.

"I'm fine, really! I'm still a little tired and at the moment I'm extremely hungry..."

"If you had only waited until I finish my shower, I would have made sure you were well fed."

Barba's voice was soft and made Sonny shudder. He gave his two friends a mischievous look before getting up to stand next to Rafael and say in his ear, "I'd like you to feed me for lunch."

Barba stared at Sonny for a long time before saying, "And won't your colleagues resent you for abandoning them again?"

"They'll understand, right guys? I mean you're in a loving relationship? too, so you understand the need for intimacy and being together almost constantly for the first few weeks. Unless you have any objections to eating with me?" He whispered the last sentence softly so that only Rafael could hear.

Mike choked on his drink, "In a loving relationship?"

"Yes, that's what we call two people who share the same feelings of affection for each other and who have shared intimacy. Unless you'd rather I call Sonny my boyfriend?"

Sonny made a little grimace. The emphasis on the words "boyfriend" showed what Rafael thought of the word. Nick smiled nicely at the ADA.

"I wouldn't mind, but I think you should ask Sonny what he thinks."

"Well, yeah, Sonny, which term do you prefer, boyfriend or spouse?" Mike coughed weakly.

"Maybe in the near future the word spouse but for now I like the word lovers? I don't like the word boyfriend either." 

He smiled at Rafael who smiled and whispered, "Yes, lover suits you very well. Now that you've talked about lunch, lover, I'm hungry so I'm going to leave because I lust for more than just food." 

The warmth in those green eyes immediately told Sonny what other thing Rafael was hungry for.

He looked at Mike and Nick and smiled at them. His friends were sitting close together and shared a complicit and tender gaze before looking at Sonny and Rafael, "Go ahead then, I wouldn't want to have to arrest you for indecent exposure in the middle of the precinct," Mike said provocatively.

"Fine, fine, I'll plead guilty, but with mitigating circumstances," replied Rafael. 

Sonny replied, "Oh yeah? Which? I'm curious about."

Rafael whispered in his ear so that it would only be heard by Sonny, "You're way too attractive for your own good. A real call to crime."

The whisper in his ear made Sonny blush slightly, and as Rafael walked away after discreetly brushing Sonny's cheek with a light kiss, Sonny realized that by trying to find out what was wrong with Rafael, thanks to Nick and Mike, his life had changed for the better.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you as always to Sarah for the beta reading.


End file.
